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little mama asked:


I have been given a lot of parenting advice over the years and have even tried some of the suggestions. I have since learned to just trust my own instincts. What I want to know is what is the worst or craziest advice you've ever been given, and did you try it?

expertvillage asked:

Quiet your crying infant; learn how to soothe a crying baby in this free child care video with parenting tips for newborns and infants. Expert: Alisha Folkman Bio: Alisha Folkman is a mother of two and has worked at the Verde Valley Medical Center for nearly five years. Filmmaker: Dixon Gillette

expertvillage asked:

Quiet your crying infant; learn how to spot signs of teething in a crying baby in this free child care video with parenting tips for newborns and infants. Expert: Alisha Folkman Bio: Alisha Folkman is a mother of two and has worked at the Verde Valley Medical Center for nearly five years. Filmmaker: Dixon Gillette

There are many ideas about how to raise children. Many new parents re-call how their mom and dad parented them and make parenting decisions based on what they did or did not like about how their parents raised them. In addition to re-calling memories from their childhood, they also reach out to gain support and advice from friends and family or maybe even take a parenting class. A very popular way to gain knowledge about parenting is to read books or an article on parenting styles written by Pediatricians or Psychologists. There are many different ways to raise children, but parents can now seek out Specialists to discover the parenting styles and practices that are the most effective and that lead to a positive outcome.

If you take the time to find an article on parenting styles you will find that parenting styles come in three main categories. These styles are Authoritarian, Permissive, and Democratic. Parents can be a mixture of these styles or fall in one or more categories. How a person was raised can have a lot to do with what type of parenting style they will have as parents themselves.

The Authoritarian parent always tries to be in control of their children. They set rules and expect for them to be followed. They usually do not like for their children to ask questions about why they are told to do something. Authoritarian parents, in general, are not very warm and affectionate to their children. Despite loving their children very much they are very critical of their children's short comings. Children of these parents have a difficult time thinking for them self, as they are always told what to do and never have a chance to develop critical thinking skills.

In an article on parenting styles, the Permissive parent is described as one who has few rules or boundaries for their children. They are very warm and loving to their children despite their children's faults or achievements. However, Permissive parents do sometimes get overwhelmed with the negative behavior of their children and don't know how to fix it because they have gotten into the pattern of not enforcing rules and boundaries with their children.

The Democratic parenting style is one in which parents engage their children into discussions and rules setting. They allow their children to see what the consequences of their actions will be and help them to avoid pitfalls of those actions. If you read an article on parenting styles, you will find that the Democratic parent is more of a teacher than the obedience police. They allow natural consequences of their children's actions to be the lesson. They do set reasonable and age appropriate boundaries for their children and are warm and loving despite performance.

As you can see, there are different styles of parenting to choose from. It is your choice as a parent to choose which style you want to have, and not just fall into one because that's how you were raised. Be the parent that you want to be!



By: Gareth Williams

About the Author:

We have been told so often about the common mistakes that parents make when raising children that very often the all important question of being a good parent is sidelined. After all, there is a subtle yet important difference between the two that should not be ignored. Many parents focus so much on trying to avoid the pitfalls of parenting that they become negligent to the good aspects of parenting.

The fact of the matter is that being a good parent comes instinctively to some people. However, the good news is that wonderful parenting is an art which can be learned and so there is no need to worry unduly about it. The first behavioral trait you will find in good parents is their complete lack of presumption. So many people feel that they know what is best for their children. The problem with such thinking is that it limits the ability to be original and deal with the problems of your children intelligently.

Having experienced the traumas of childhood first-hand does not ensure that you have all the answers in your kitty. Being a good parent means that you take the changing times into account and understand that a comparison of your childhood with that of your children can never be fair. The problems that plague and bother your child today will definitely be different from what you faced when you were a child.

Today, children mature a lot faster than we did when we were kids. For us, childhood was a relatively slow-paced affair while for today's young generation things change everyday and keeping pace with life poses a whole new set of challenges that we as parents are not aware of. Being a good parent means that all outdated comparisons have to be dispensed with.

One of the most common problem parents' face in present times is their children's ever-increasing demand for expensive shoes or clothes or other gadgets which their friends possess. Many parents feel that their children are being insensitive and callous and do not wish to pamper them by giving into these demands. Being a good parent does not mean that you buy things for your child which you cannot afford to in the first place. However, dismissing all demands by assuming that your child is acquisitive is also not the right thing to do.

Try and empathize with your child in situations like these rather than being judgmental. Understand that these demands are prompted because of the possessions of other kids in school. Your child desires the same objects as he does not want to feel excluded or inferior to others. At this juncture, a practical gesture would be to talk to your child and broaden his horizon of thinking. Even if he is young, you can bring about the awareness that material possessions do not determine superiority or inferiority and what truly sets a person above the rest is his humane and sympathetic nature.

Your child might not take to this idea like a fish takes to water, as it will be a different way of looking at life for him but he will definitely value this sooner or later. Infusing this belief also does not mean that you never buy the expensive things that your child wants. Wherever you feel that the demand is justified or that an occasional spending spree is not a problem, you can be an extravagant parent. This way you are being a good parent along with having a pragmatic approach towards life.

One of the secrets of being a good parent is to watch the ****** expressions of your child when he communicates with you as well as with other people around him. This will tell you a lot more than just listening to what your child says. Many children do not reveal their true feelings verbally as they have their own inhibitions. Being alert to ****** expressions and gestures is a good way of accessing your child's inner thoughts and emotions. Along with this, be a good listener to your child and devote quality time where you discuss not only his school and friends but other areas of interest that both of you have. After all, the metamorphosis of the child into a friend is the most desired gift to any parent.

Another great way of being a good parent is to participate actively in parent evenings. Your avid interest will be a great encouragement for your child to perform better and you will also get to know of his development in studies and other extra-curricular activities. Today, many parents are unable to help children with their school work as this necessitates some amount of computer literacy as well as knowledge of current teaching trends.

In case you have time on your hands as a parent, you could polish your computer skills and read up on teaching methods so that you can give a helping hand when necessary. Learning computer skills from your children might also be a good way of allowing the fun element into your relationship. There is even a possibility that your child admires your honest admission of ignorance in something that he/she is good at and takes a real interest in educating you. There are a lot of parents who feel the need to portray themselves as all-knowing and superior. There is no need to do so. On the contrary, your child will respect you all the more if you admit that there are certain things that you also find difficult to grasp rather than judging you as imperfect.

Even though being involved with your child's school activities is commendable, being a good parent means that you have to keep your eyes open for your child's reaction to your interest in their studies. Some children are perfectly capable of handling their curriculum by themselves and your zeal may be misconstrued as interference. In such cases, it is better to back off and provide help only when asked.

Many parents are paranoid about the times we live in and the issue of safety that has been so blatantly threatened by it. In a bid to shield their children, they try and set limits that are not age-appropriate. Children react adversely to this as they perceive it to be manipulative and controlling behavior on the part of their parents. One of the most important lessons you have to learn on the way of being a good parent is that coddling your children never works and your children will even start rejecting sensible and practical advice on your part so as to assert their freedom. So, beware of this tendency.

To sum it up, the whole crux of being a good parent is to accept your children as individuals who have their likes and dislikes as well as their strengths and weaknesses and respect them for what they are rather than what you would like them to be. Doing so will guarantee that not only are you a good parent, but your children are also great children to have.



By: Emily Watson

About the Author:

Co-parenting isn’t easy. It’s actually quite a chore. When neither parent is willing to negotiate or communicate, the child has the job of transitioning from one parenting style to the other. As a parent educator and family therapist, I have seen many anxious and confused children affected by their parents’ inconsistent rules and styles. Sometimes children do this under the same roof and sometimes under two, but the bottom line is that it is the parents’ responsibility to create a balance.

Parenting skills vary much like personalities. The differences can be as subtle as the setting of bedtimes to as serious as choosing consequences for bad behavior. The bottom line is adults have a number of motivations for parenting. For instance, they might try to do better than their parents. Thus, we attempt to find new and effective strategies to raise good kids. These ambitions can be difficult enough. Now add the challenge of joining forces with another adult who was raised by different parents and who may be select different strategies.

So how do parents, married or divorced, stay clear and consistent, raise confident children, and feel influential as parents? They learn how to work together and become better co-parents! Here are several successful co-parenting steps:

Identify your personal style and motivations. Your first job in becoming a successful co-parent is to figure out your general style and motivations. If it were all up to you, how would you parent? How would you motivate your children? How would you use punishment and encouragement? What are the top 10 values you would like to teach your kids? Now ask yourself WHY? Why would your style be that way? What is your motivation? How did your parents parent you? Are you attempting to repeat their upbringing or compensate for it? Share your parenting style and motivation with your co-parent. I understand that you might feel vulnerable sharing your style and motivation. Your style may be different than your spouse’s style. In order for you and your partner to co-parent successfully, you both need to appreciate and support the ideas you bring to the table. When you listen to where the other parent is coming from, it will allow you to join forces. Before deciding on a parenting style and direction, consult parenting books and classes. Now that you have looked at each other’s parenting style, take a look together at good parenting books and the current research. Report back to each other and consider how your styles measure up. Decide on a parenting style. You now have several examples of parenting strategies and philosophies. Its time to blend what you believe with what your co-parent believes and what the experts say. This is the ultimate in negotiation but remember that if you do not negotiate at the adult level, it leaves your child to figure it out. Once you’ve decided, then write down the basics and embrace your new co-parenting style. Implement your new co-parenting style. Now you parent! Both parents are on the same page. Children are clear on what is expected of them and what the consequences are if they do not follow the family expectations. Thus, it lessens the occasions of arguing between the parents and the opportunities for manipulation by the children. Hold weekly co-parenting meetings with your spouse. Since you are the CEOs of your family and are business partners in a very real way, you must stay in constant communication. The success or failure of your family rests in your capable hands. Thus, co-parenting meetings are a must! These meetings should include finances, home maintenance, parenting, and relationship issues. Meetings should be held weekly with schedule book, meeting journal and budget book in hand. Continue to review your parenting style. You may find that one child thrives under your new system while another loses balance. Good co-parents always re-evaluate and restructure when necessary.

We are busy parents today. It is difficult to take the time to evaluate our parenting styles but the payoff is big for you as a parenting unit as well as for your child. Co-parenting takes the pressure off our children and the conflict out of our lives.

Copyright 2008 Parent Education Group - Reprints Accepted - Two links must be active in the bio. The article homepage: http://www.familyauthority.com/articles/family-day.html



By: Laura Doerflinger, MS, LMHC

About the Author:

Parenting is the toughest, most important job most people will ever encounter and yet there is no license required, no training required, and no 24/7 hotline. This is rather short-sighted on the part of society as the cost of bad parenting is immense, but in truth the situation is not as dire as it seems. While no training is required for new parents, it is very easy for parents to learn the ways and means of good parents as well as the traps and pitfalls of bad parents. All it takes for parents to learn more about parenting is to watch, listen, and learn.

Watching is a key element to learning more about parenting. Watch the parents around you and you can learn all sorts of lessons about how to interact with your child, how to discipline your child, and how to teach your child. Almost everywhere you take your child there will be other parents and their children. Watching means observing but also listening. Hear the tone of voice as well as the words those parents use. Some parents use the right words but their tone and physical manner contradicts those words. Watch the children to note their response. Some children respond more readily to their parents. Why? What is different about that parent-child relationship? What can you take away for your own parent-child relationship?

Listen to advice. You don't need to take every piece of advice that is offered to you. After all, there are many people who are free with advice and yet have clearly demonstrated they are in no position to offer it. However, there is often some really good advice shared by people you know and trust as well as good advice offered by passing strangers in the supermarket checkout line or in the stands at a soccer game. Be a sponge. Keep your ears open. You don't have to take that advice but keeping your options open gives you the chance to sort out the jewels and benefit from them.

Be an active learner. Seek out information when you face a parenting challenge. Perhaps your child is acting out in a new way and your old discipline technique isn't working. Search the internet, flip through parenting books, and ask some experts in your circle of friends. Sometimes great advice will come to you but other times you will need to seek it out. The more proactive you are about finding solutions to your parenting problems then the better parent you will become.

Parenting is a challenging job, no question about it, but it also comes with wonderful built-in rewards. Some times parents are forced to take a tough unpopular stand but in the end good parenting comes with its own rewards. Those rewards include a happy, successful child and a warm, loving relationship that will extend long past childhood and span the rest of your life. So who needs special training. If you watch, listen, and learn then you can be the parent you want to be and your child deserves.



By: Deanna Mascle

About the Author: