Any advice for someone considering being a single parent?
Posted by ParentHelper | Posted in Parenting | Posted on 05-08-2010-05-2008
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I'm a 32 year old single female and am contemplating motherhood, possibly through international adoption. I'm a financially secure homeowner who has family that live nearby who could help lend support. What scares me the most is the lack of a paternal/male role model. Any stories, perspectives, or advice from other single parents would be appreciated.
By: moviebuff123123
About the Author:
By: moviebuff123123
About the Author:
ya just do what u have to do to make sure that child is well taken care of, dont live off the system. make sure u are secure and can afford to raise a child, and tht i would tell anyone single or not. children are great, bad, fun, headaches, they are everything, so just remember even good or bad, thick n thin, they are what u make them. wouldnt trade my 3 for the world
Well I became a single mum 4 months ago, not because I wanted to, now I have a relationship with a man who’s a lot older than me, not because I needed to be with someone cause I can take care of my son by myself but because I really like him. He loves my child, and that makes me really happy. And I think kids need a mum and a dad. That would be fantastic but I think that single mums can be very good dads as well. It’s harder cause you have to be both, but not impossible. If you really want a child in your life than go for it, become a mum and a dad. It’s your decision.
Maybe you should consider fostering.
You said you have family near, aren’t any of them male? If your Dad lives close that would be the best, though any male family member that would agree and actually follow through with your house rules is a perfect male role model. When my husband left, I was alone with four children, my Dad came to live with me after he retired and it worked great. My children adore their Grandpa. I never seen them happier, though my Dad likes to spoil the girls, he has taught my boys how to be a man, which is something I could have never done (I could have taught them what a woman wants in a man, but not how to be one.) So any male influence which is positive is great, he does not have to be the actual father to be Dad and any decent man who would provide a positive male influence would be great.
I say go for it. I was married and thought everything was secure when I had my son. Husband divorced me when my son was less then two. He had little involvement, his choice, as my son was growing up. My son was involved in little league, etc. He had his grandfather and uncles (also took him to visit his paternal grandfather). He is now a senior in high school. Keeps two jobs, bought his own car, has a good savings account, and will be off to college. More importantly he is a great kid who is kind to others and is respectful. It will not be easy but no parenting single or married is a picnic. I know this because I got remarried and am raising with a husband now. The rewards are great. Good Luck.
I am not a single parent. I did however get the luck of adopting twin sons, from a relative. I have only have to do the “single” parent thing once for 8 months while my husband served in Iraq. We have been lucky he has not yet gone again. When he was gone it was hard without him but with family and support it sounds like if you chose to adopt, the baby will be coming into a loving caring enviornment. Single or married, a child needs love. If you can provide the love the child needs, it may not mind growing up with one great mom. I was raised 100% by my mother. She was the most awesome mother, worked hard and never let me think i was missing out on a “daddy”. She was both mother and father, and although in a perfect world, every child would have both a loving and caring mother AND father, that doesn’t always happen. Think of it this way, adopting a child means you are taking a child who has neither a mother or a father and giving her/him a wonderful mother. Good luck! I wish you the best!
I was raised by only my mother and I turned out just fine, the only thing is, she took me to do everything a Mom would take her male child to do, AND she did all the things the father would do, (Fishing, Hiking, Camping, Baseball, well, sports in general) I believe it was better for me to be raised by just her, because I have a very sensitive heart for females, in treating them properly and stuff like that, and I believe it was because of just my Mom raising me, that I am not like the 98% of men in the world, I am among the few that love women, and am faithful, and caring, but can be defensive as well, I don’t drink, do drugs or smoke, and I have faith in the entity above, all in all, it was the strength of my mother (R.I.P.) that made me who I am today, if you are a strong person and feel you can do it on your own, then more power to you!! All you need is the patience and parts of both ends of the Masculinity and Femininity to achieve your goals! They aren’t as hard to raise by yourself as some people think, as of right now, i have raised two on my own.
Good luck!!
I’m a single mom and have raised my almost 16 year old son completely on my own. I was only 18 when I got pregnant and wasnt financially secure, or ready by any means. At least you have that on your side and thats really half of the battle.
But without any male role modles, I have to say my son has turned out to be a wonderful young man. We have a very good line of communication, and I think that is key with any child. He tells/ asks me anything, and always has… sometimes things I wasnt ready to discuss! But he is very well mannered,and kind.
I get compliments about what a good kid he is all of the time.
He has good grades, doesnt smoke, drink or do drugs. I know this because when its been offered he has come and talked to me about it. So dont worry about not having a man in the house, my son has never had contact with his dad and he is a wonderful boy!
Just be prepared to play both roles( mom and dad) and do the best you can. With love and lots of attention, I’m sure you will have a happy and successful child! Good luck!
since your only one person and there isn’t anyone to back you up, you have to be clear about what you want them to do and reinforce it
For a male role model, what about male relatives?